Learning to Walk

When a baby is born, he/she begins the inherent process of growing, learning and developing. No one tells the baby to grow, to learn and to develop. First the baby develops head control, next trunk control and then limb control. Soon the baby is kicking and scooting on the floor, then learning to crawl, next, pulling up to stand and finally those first few steps when all he/she has worked for comes to fruition.

Have you ever watched a baby just learning to scoot? On his stomach, trying to hold his head up, kicking one or both legs, so intent to move forward. That's where I've been for the past several years. Desperate to move forward, doing everything I know how to do, and getting nowhere fast. I have to believe that I'm going to start crawling, or maybe I'm crawling now and don't know it yet, and that at some point I will be walking again. Just like that baby, something inside me keeps me pushing forward.

I could list all of the things on top of things that have happened in the last several years, but that would make all of us cry. For now, I'm focusing on moving forward. I refuse to quit, I refuse to give up and I refuse to accept my life and my circumstances as they are.